YADDA AKE SOYAYYA TA GASKIYA
Gabatarwa
A wannan zamani, mutane da yawa suna rikita soyayya ta gaskiya da jin daɗin zuciya kawai ko sha’awa ta ɗan lokaci. Wasu na shiga soyayya ba tare da cikakken fahimta ba, daga baya kuma su ji rauni, baƙin ciki, ko nadama. Amma a hakikanin gaskiya, soyayya ta gaskiya tana da tushe mai ƙarfi, ka’idoji, da halaye da ake bi domin ta dore kuma ta zama albarka.
A wannan rubutu, za mu yi bayani dalla-dalla kan yadda ake soyayya ta gaskiya, ta hanyar da za ta amfanar da matasa da manya, maza da mata, musamman a al’adar Hausawa da koyarwar addini.
Menene Soyayya Ta Gaskiya?
Soyayya ta gaskiya ita ce soyayyar da aka gina a kan:
Girmamawa
Amincewa
Hakuri
Fahimtar juna
Kyakkyawar niyya
Ba soyayyar da ke cutar da zuciya ba ce, kuma ba wadda ke rusa mutunci ko makoma ba.
Karanta: AMFANIN-AUREN-DOGUWAR-MACE
1. Girmamawa – Ginshiƙin Soyayya
Ba za a taɓa samun soyayya ta gaskiya ba idan babu girmamawa. Girmamawa na nufin:
Mutunta ra’ayin juna
Gujewa zagi, cin mutunci, ko raini
Girmama iyaye da dangin juna
Mutunta addini da al’ada
Idan mutum yana sonka amma bai girmama ka ba, to wannan ba soyayya ta gaskiya ba ce.
Karanta: YADDA-AKE-GANE-SOYAYYAR-GASKIYA
2. Amincewa (Trust)
Amincewa ita ce zuciyar soyayya. Idan amana ta karye:
Shakku yana shiga
Faɗa na ƙaruwa
Zuciya tana rauni
Soyayya ta gaskiya tana guje wa:
Ƙarya
Yaudara
ɓoye-ɓoye
Cin amana
Idan ka yi kuskure, yarda da shi da gaskiya ya fi alheri fiye da ƙarya.
Karanta: ABUBUWA-GOMA-DA-MAZA-KE-SO-SOYAYYA
3. Sadarwa Mai Kyau
Yawancin matsalolin soyayya suna faruwa ne saboda rashin sadarwa mai kyau. A soyayya ta gaskiya:
Ana magana cikin ladabi
Ana sauraron juna ba tare da katsalandan ba
Ana bayyana damuwa cikin natsuwa
Ana warware matsala ba da faɗa ko zagi ba
Magana mai kyau tana ƙara kusanci, yayin da magana mara kyau ke rushe soyayya.
Karanta: YADDA-AKE-SA-BUDURWA-TA-KWARE-SOYAYYA
4. Hakuri da Fahimtar Juna
Ba mutum ɗaya da ya cika ba. Kowa yana da kuskure. Soyayya ta gaskiya tana koyar da:
Yin haƙuri da raunin juna
Fahimtar halaye daban-daban
Taimaka wa juna wajen gyara kuskure
Soyayya ba ta neman cikakken mutum, tana gina cikawa ne tare.
5. Taimako da Ƙarfafa Juna
Soyayya ta gaskiya ba ta hana ci gaba. A maimakon haka:
Tana ƙarfafa ilimi
Tana tallafa wa aiki ko sana’a
Tana motsa mutum ya zama mafi alheri
Idan soyayya tana hana ka ci gaba, to ka sake tunani.
Karanta: YADDA AKE GANE BUDURWA NA SON AURE
6. Tsoron Allah a Cikin Soyayya
Soyayya mafi albarka ita ce wadda take tare da tsoron Allah. Wannan yana:
Kare zuciya daga cutuwa
Kare mutunci
Kare makomar aure
Soyayyar da babu tsoron Allah sau da yawa tana kaiwa ga nadama.
7. Gujewa Kishi Mara Iyaka
Kishi alama ce ta kulawa, amma idan ya wuce gona da iri:
Zai zama tsangwama
Zai haifar da shakku
Zai karya zuciya
Soyayya ta gaskiya tana da kishi mai ma’auni, ba kishi mai cutarwa ba.
Karanta: YADDA AKE SHAGWAƁA
8. Kyakkyawar Niyya
Tambaya mafi muhimmanci ita ce: Me nake so da wannan soyayya?
Aure?
Gina rayuwa?
Zama mafi alheri tare?
Idan niyya ba ta da kyau, soyayya ba za ta daɗe ba.
Alamomin Soyayya Ta Gaskiya
Zaman lafiya
Amana
Tattaunawa mai daɗi
Girmamawa
Ƙoƙarin gyara kuskure
Niyyar aure ko makoma mai kyau
Kammalawa
Soyayya ta gaskiya ba wasa ba ce, ba kuma hanya ce ta cutar da zuciya. Ita ce tafiya tare cikin girmamawa, amana, da tsoron Allah. Idan aka gina soyayya a kan waɗannan ginshiƙai, tana iya zama tushen farin ciki da aure mai albarka.
Tambayoyi da Amsoshi (FAQ)
❓ Menene soyayya ta gaskiya?
Soyayya ta gaskiya ita ce wadda aka gina akan amana, girmamawa da niyya mai kyau.
❓ Shin soyayya ba tare da aure ba tana da kyau?
Idan ba ta da tsoron Allah da kyakkyawar niyya, tana iya haifar da matsala.